User talk:XiaoHaoLao01

Some Time,,, on Friday, February 18 (around 5 PM EST)

From @RainyySundays Announcement; I can walk w/ out crutches now ^^ just thought I’d post this here as I cannot access Discord now and I felt like sharing this w/ some user(s) who are here,I feel less awkward now walking around 💜 Thank you to everyone who supported me through my journey w/ crutches

From @Carrotmaster67: Why can't you access Discord? Is something wrong? And can we still talk on padlet? /gq /concerned -Lotus (ge/gem)

To @Carrotmaster67 from @RainyySundayss9; I cannot access Discord as my parent(s) blocked it / saw some of the messages. Yes, we can still talk on padlet, I’ll make a padlet rq that we can talk on. (No passcode) https://padlet.com/RainyyXiaoLmao19/zj2v21l1del5gvsr

To @RainyySundayss9 from @Carrotmaster67; I'm really sorry that happened... It just sucks... (btw, I don't have access to the padlet, it says that I need a password /g) -Lo

Hello, btw I removed the passcode; sorry about that it probably was because it was a remake of another padlet w/ a passcode. Let me know if you still cannot join and i’ll ask for help to fix it, (@RainyySundayss9) 6;46 PM EST

From @Carrotmaster67; we can access it now, thank you. (however, we still can't post there, I think that we can reply but you're the only one who can post there) -Lo (ge/gem)

Hello, Sorry for taking a bit to reply; I was sorting things out w/ my family today. I created a post there so we can talk, I’ll also post this on your talk page so you can see this message. (From @RainyySundayss9 10;18 PM EST)

Hey, why did you remove the padlet? I can only see your old padlet? Can you make a post on there? Or is padlet banned for you now? /g /gq /neu /nm /concerned @Carrotmaster67

Friday, February 18 8:49 PM EST

I heard someone saying their ‘down bad’ for me,,, what does that mean? 😅 I’m arospike and feel no attraction touuthem,,, but I genuinely want to know. /genq Update,,, I figured it out Lmao

Saturday, February 19 12:50 PM EST

I’m extremely upset at the new FANDOM. Someone was making false claims about our staff team there saying we were ____phobic and basically stating any phobic(s) they could. When I stated my opinion respectfully it just got deleted and reported. It was not malicious or anything whatsoever and not that offtopic and their comment was never deleted for being offtopic so it was unjust / bias. They were saying the staff team was racist and such and when I said we weren’t and gave proof they reported the message. Honestly,,, that FANDOM is so stupid tbh,,, the staff team is way worse than the LGBTA fandom as a whole. I feel as if I am being treated unfairly solely for the reason I was a staff member on LGBTA. They say we’re allowed to express our opinions and suggestions as long as we did it respectfully. That’s what I did and it was still deleted, very disappointed in all of them there. /srs /vu /vm

Saturday, February 19 12:56 PM EST

It’ very problematic. They’re also letting exclusionist user(s) such as the trickster and other(s) who were toxic user(s) on LGBTA come back. I understand changing but,,, they were still validating themselves invalidating other user(s) and the staff said it was okay,,, It makes me severely disappointed. I’m undoing all the work / editing I did there as I don’t want my edits / work on that website, ever. They condone other user(s) invalidating other user(s) / systems so I don’t want anything to do w/ them really.

Saturday, February 19 2:30 PM EST

They’re currently saying it was their personal opinion,,, but a personal opinion does not include calling a group of people racist / xenophobic when they’re not.

Saturday, February 19 9:00 PM EST

(GENERAL TW)

My parents, total as*holes. Everytime something happens they go to their phone directly after to mess w/ my screen time limits even when they were in the wrong and it had nothing to do w/ devices,,, They might as well write their f*cking name on my phone as well as they’re on it more than me. They’re so f*cking hypocritical. They’re on their phones constantly everyday, I’ve set a screen time check thingy to see how long they’re on their phone and it said 8 hours. They always try to control me, they always blame me. Other(s) have pointed out as well that I always apologize unnecessarily, It’s because of them. They refuse to apologize ever then force me to, even when I was doing nothing wrong and they came and created a problem. I cannot believe after court they forced me to go back w/ these people,,, They always say they’re gonna change and get better and it lasts for at most a month, then they go back to normal. After everything i’ve been through apparently it’s not a valid enough reason to not live w/ them; when they’ve hit me before,, and frankly they forced me into so many things,,, it’s just a toxic relationship, it always has been. They blame me for my mental health when they’ve never supported me or frankly even CARED to acknowledge they’ve hurt me multiple time(s) sometimes even to the point I cannot remember what happened the day before. When my therapist diagnosed me w/ anxiety and mild depression they fired her,,, and whenever I try to talk about how I feel to anyone w/ them in the room they ridicule me, talk over me and put me down. When I tried to talk about how I feel privately, on Discord, they deleted the app and made restrictions so I cannot download it. When I tried to talk about it on FANDOM they blocked it and restricted it. I have nowhere to let it out and they expect my mental health to be stable. It’s been over a year since the therapist diagnosed me w/ mild depression and anxiety and I’ve gotten 0 therapy / 0 counseling whatsoever and when I try to find a place myself they just block / delete it. I get suicidal thoughts on a daily now, by that I mean it depends on how my day is,,, Now it ranges from 2 — 3 suicidal thoughts / day back then I got 0,,, Everyday I am told what I must be, What I must say, never to decide anything for myself. I must be a doctor no questions asked,,, I must always achieve better than everyone else or face being a failure,,, They want me to be all these thing(s) yet,,, they expect me to achieve everything by myself w/ no help,,, even when I was 8 I still had to do everything by myself,,, Everyday gets worse, never better.

Saturday, February 19 9:29 PM EST

Relapsing bad memories yet again,,, It’s that time in 6th grade where I got an 79 and started hyperventilating during class ,,, everyone was concerned and asked me what was wrong and I said nothing, I was only worried about what my parent(s) would do rather than how it would affect ME. The teacher offered to let me retake it, but I was gonna still have to show them,,, I remember begging the teacher to let me retake it directly after school that day so I would not have to face my parents.