He/Him Lesbian



A he/him lesbian or hesbian refers to a lesbian who uses he/him pronouns but is still a woman, woman-aligned, or non-aligned. It is a more specific form of pronoun non-conformity and crosspronoun usage. A he/him lesbian does not identify as male because pronouns do not always equal gender, however, the pronouns one uses are another part of gender expression, just like one's clothes or behavior. In the same way some non-binary individuals are more comfortable using pronouns other than they/them, some binary individuals may feel more comfortable using pronouns other than the one's typically associated with their gender. Feeling a disconnect from womanhood is a common experience among lesbians- though they still identify as women through their sapphic attraction. Similarly to how some lesbians might go by masculine names or present as a butch to express this disconnect a lesbian may also refer to themself by he/him to express a disconnect from their gender.

A he/him lesbian can be a cis woman or a trans woman. However, the term he/him lesbians does not include trans women use who he/him pronouns purely because they are not out yet. The term he/him lesbian only include those who actively identify with and want to go by he/him pronouns. One can go by he/him pronouns exclusively, or one can be multipronoun.

Neopronoun gays, neopronoun lesbians, she/her gays, they/them lesbians, it/its lesbians, it/its gay individuals and they/them gay individuals also exist.

Controversy
The existence of he/him lesbians has been the subject of controversy, more so than other pronoun-sexuality contrasting identities. This is typically based on the misunderstanding he/him lesbian's gender identity and on the false assertion that an individual's pronouns must be directly associated with their gender.

Trans Men vs. He/Him Lesbians
The term "he/him lesbian" has been criticised by some trans men and allies as being disrespectful to them and invalidating their experiences. Some have argued that individuals who identify as women and use he/him pronouns invalidate the dysphoria that trans individuals feel.

She/Her Lesbians vs. He/Him Lesbians
Some she/her lesbians and allies have argued that the term invalidates she/her lesbians (due to the he/him lesbian experience of "disconnection from womanhood"), and romanticizes the past experiences of women forced to use he/him pronouns to avoid persecution.

Flag
The he/him lesbian flag was designed by Tumblr user Wuvsbian on May 20, 2018. The rainbow was used to encompass all the different ways he/him lesbians express themselves through sexual and gender identity. The colors were chosen to try to represent butch lesbians, femme lesbians, those who don't identify as either, as well as non-binary lesbians. However, many he/him lesbians no longer resonate with this flag, as the creator no longer identifies as a lesbian nor uses he/him pronouns, as well as a lack of adequate meaning in regards to the stripes of the flags.

A new, more commonly used he/him lesbian flag was created by Twitter user laviatte on December 22, 2021 on a lesbian flag archive account under the name of lesflags. The meanings of the flag represent unique gender expression, disconnection to womanhood, connections to masculinity, he/him lesbians under the transgender and non-binary umbrella, gender non-conformity, comfort in using he/him pronouns, and attraction to non-men. On July 12, 2022, a simplified 5-stripe version of this flag was created.